A Jeeves omnibus by Wodehouse P. G. (Pelham Grenville) 1881-1975

Author:Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville), 1881-1975
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Valets, Jeeves (Fictitious character)
Publisher: New York : Dorset Press
Published: 1992-08-03T16:00:00+00:00

274 The Inimitable Jeeves

sprinter, why hasn't anybody in the village found it out? Surely he plays with the other boys?*

*No, sir. As his lordship's page-boy, Harold does not mix with the village lads.'

*Bit of a snob, what?'

*He is somewhat acutely alive to the existence of class distinctions, sir.'

'You're absolutely certain he's such a wonder?' said Bingo. 'I mean, it wouldn't do to plunge unless you're sure.'

*If you desire to ascertain the boy's form by personal inspection, sir, it will be a simple matter to arrange a secret trial.'

'I'm bound to say I should feel easier in my mind,' I said.

'Then if I may take a shilling from the money on your dressing-table -'

'What for?'

'I propose to bribe the lad to speak slightingly of the second footman's quint, sir. Charles is somewhat sensitive on the point, and should undoubtedly make the lad extend himself. If you will be at the first-floor passage-window, overlooking the back door, in half an hour's time - '

I don't know when I've dressed in such a hurry. As a rule, I'm what you might call a slow and careful dresser: I like to linger over the tie and see that the trousers are just so; but this morning I was all worked up. I just shoved on my things anyhow, and joined Bingo at the window with a quarter of an hour to spare.

The passage-window looked down on to a broad sort of paved courtyard, which ended after about twenty yards in an archway through a high wall. Beyond this archway you got to a strip of the drive, which curved round for another thirty yards or so, till it was lost behind a thick shrubbery. I put myself in the stripling's place and thought what steps I would take with a second footman after me. There was only one thing to do - leg it for the shrubbery and take cover; which meant that at least fifty yards would have to be covered - an excellent test. If good old Harold could fight off the second footman's challenge long enough to allow him to reach the bushes, there wasn't a choir-boy in England who could give him thirty yards in the hundred. I waited, all of a twitter, for what seemed like hours, and then suddenly there was a confused noise without, and something round and blue and buttony shot through the back door and buzzed for the archway like a mustang. And about two seconds later out came the second footman, going his hardest.

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